How to be made redundant

Nowadays being made redundant is a normal part of work. It’s not unusual to meet people who have been “out placed” by several companies. In fact not having gone through the process at least once is almost becoming a bad sign.

Preparation

Just like any other element of work it’s important to prepare. (Some may ask “but what about impromptu actions?” Actually, they require even more preparation.)

Find out who is likely to do this to you. They will spend the days and weeks beforehand keeping quiet, certainly as far as you are concerned. Don’t expect speedy, or indeed, any response to your emails during this period.
Discover what they can do to you. By this I mean arm locks, throws, kicks and punches. One HR manager I know was a martial arts expert on the side. He mainly kept quiet about it but I found out in time. Leaving an exit interview on a gurney doesn’t look good.
Know where your personal belongings are. There are some people who – through experience – never leave any personal belongings at work. This is so they can leave the office – if they’re told to – with minimum fuss. My advice is to make sure your desks and drawers have as many personal items as possible. If necessary throw out work related matters if they take up space. See below.
Collect copies of important documents, project work etc. In the future you may want to look back to recall how to do things. They also help in professional membership and other issues.
Be in a company. As far as I know you can only be made redundant if you’re in a company. There are cases of people who have only just started, or haven’t even started, work and have been made redundant.

The interview

It may be at the wrong end of your employment with the company but technically, and non-technically, it’s an interview.

You won’t (shouldn’t) know when they will call you for the interview. As you go along to the interview room (“The Walk”) don’t bother trying to guess what the meeting is about. You’ll find out soon enough.
Remember that the people making you redundant will be very nervous and even embarrassed or ashamed. Remember also, that unless they don’t know something that you don’t know then they’ll still be employed at the end of the day, week, month, year etc. So be nice but not that nice.

8. Be professional. That is, if you were in charge there’d never be redundancies and every one would be rich and happy. Having a tantrum, even an executive tantrum, won’t help you even if it makes your managers feel even more embarrassed/ashamed/nervous.

9. Don’t forget that the people making you redundant could be future contacts, referees or even employers again. Hell might freeze over, you never know.

10. Don’t sign any documents at the interview. In fact keep as quiet as possible.

11. Although it might no longer be legal it’s better to leave the office if they ask you to.

12. Do shake hands with these managers and look them in the eye and even, damn it, smile. After all, it is only business, although they clearly couldn’t run a bath.

13. Don’t take retributive action (i.e. leave viruses, delete data, damage property etc). That’s so second millennium.

After the interview

If they allow you to return to your desk to collect things then do so.
Remember to collect your personal items from your desk as slowly as possible. Well, you’re not in a hurry any more are you? This drawn out moment can be agony for the manager escorting you. Good. Revenge may not be part of a calorie controlled diet but it ain’t fattening. In fact this may be the only time that revenge is appropriate. Few future companies considering you will look into how quickly you can pack your things before you’re laid off. This is why the section above (preparation) is so important.
If you bump into colleagues don’t talk to them about your redundancy deal – it may be compromised if there’s a confidentiality clause in it.
Do go to any outplacement companies they’ve paid for. Others will go and it may look like you’re sulking if you don’t. Repeat the mantra “if it’s free it’s for me”.

Outplacement services

Nowadays a lot of companies offer outplacement services. These are private businesses that help laid-off people get another job. Quite a growth industry. By offering these services the company can claim that it took reasonable steps to look after you.

Attend. You may as well; you’re not paying for it and you don’t want to appear to be sulking, even if you are.
You shouldn’t, as far as I know, even pay tax on it. So it’s doubly free.
Any similarity with the book “What Color is Your Parachute” is purely intentional. At least one course follows this book unashamedly.
It’s still worth attending rather than just buying the book. You get forced to do the exercises and meet people more bitter than you.
No matter how many times the outplacement consultant corrects you – “it’s your job that has been made redundant, you have not been made redundant” – let them live. Murder can be a career limiting action.
Go to their networking events. These may be in the evening or a “coffee and donut morning”. British people should note that this means standing alone not talking to anyone. Non-British people may go round and talk to everyone. They may even get very useful contacts and a job as a result. Poor compensation, if you ask me, for not being British.
Eat the donuts. They’re free after all. I’ve found that I was too busy eating donuts to talk to anyone even if I wanted to. Everyone else had to talk to each other as all the donuts had gone.

Meeting former colleagues

Remember that those in work will be more stressed than ever. Not only do they have more work than before, they don’t know if they’re next on the list.
On the other hand you no longer have to put up with the daily shit. And if the company has given you a good settlement package then you’ll be relaxed for a few months. It can be difficult not to rub this in with your former colleagues. Smugness is not always a virtue.
Don’t slag off the company, that’s their job and they can do it much better than you. It’ll be embarrassing being showed up so don’t.

Clearing up some key phrases and words

“Your job has been made redundant”, the PC term for “you have been made redundant”.
“Sacked” is not the same as redundancy although some companies agree to use that term for people they’ve sacked.
Redundancy “is no longer a dirty word”. I was told this by an ex-director who, when ostensibly being made redundant, was clearly sacked.
“Redundancy is an opportunity”. No it is not. You may end up doing a job you love, or working and living in a different, more fulfilling way. But that’s a result of desperation.